Posted by: Lisa Pampuch | April 14, 2009

Heavenly bubble

Looks like The Onion has some competition. Not the LA Times has the scoop on the recession’s impact in heaven. Key quote:

The result has been a series of afterlife cutbacks, including angel layoffs, outsourcing prayer requests to a call center in India, and replacing the long tunnel and bright light that people encounter after dying with a sewer pipe and compact fluorescent bulb. Even the thermostat in Hell has been dialed down to a balmy 85 degrees to control energy costs.

All religions have been affected:

• Muslim martyrs expecting to spend eternity with 72 virgins will now have to make do with inflatable dolls.
• Dead Mormons hoping to rule their own planets in the hereafter will instead be given control of a time-share planet for two weeks a year.


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